


For The Life of Me

by orphan_account



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), My Chemical Romance, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After Jenny goes to "settle the score", she is left helpless and horribly wounded. Her situations worsen, inspiring her to embark on the journey of her life.
Relationships: Original Characters - Relationship
Kudos: 1





	1. The Clock on The Nightstand

**Author's Note:**

> the third paragraph is sort of a quick summary of what happened at the end of Doors since I never finished writing that fic and I never will.

Jenny often found herself waking up in a cold sweat. She dreamed of bullets and explosions and laughter amongst death. Those dreams always left her with a strange feeling; an odd concoction of confidence and fear of her luck. She had nearly died many different times, and none of them seemed to matter until she remembered them several years later. She turned her head to look at the clock on her nightstand. It was 5:00 AM. Jenny closed her eyes and focused in on the soft, rhythmic ticking of the hands as they moved. She wished her life as Sunshine Volt had been rhythmic. She would never have had to live in such fear. 

She sometimes travelled back to the zones to say hello to her old killjoy friends. Maddison, or Lantern Nova as she preferred to be called, had lost her leg in a car-bomb explosion a couple of years ago. She claimed that a few vindictive S/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w/s had tasked some Dracs to plant them there. Maddison was always the type to laugh things off, and she was a damn good storyteller. Jenny loved to listen to her voice as she told the story of how the Ultra V's had defeated BL/ind and restored freedom to Battery City. Inside Jenny, however, burned a melancholy feeling that ignited when she first heard the Fabulous Four had all died in a magnificent battle. She laughed at herself for being so pompous when she was still a fiery-hearted girl of 14. Those four brave men were her idols. She wanted to be just like them when she was grown. Maddison and her brother, Alex, used to tease her about that. And then it was just Maddison alone when Alex had run away and never returned. The only place he would go without dying would be his home, but even then his parents must not have recognized him because the last time they saw him he had still been a girl named Alicia. 

Then, Jenny remembered her dearest friend of all, Joshua. Joshua had helped her when she was fresh from the battle between her and The Director. Jenny woke up in fits of tears and screams and Joshua had always reassured her until those fits were no more. The memories of The Director nearly killing her had haunted Jenny terribly. It was a hopeless battle fueled by Jenny's anger and arrogance. The young girl never stood a chance against the woman whose looks alone could stab someone through the lungs. She was lucky her friends had heard of her escape. She probably would have died without them. This was one of those nights again where the battle replayed like a movie someone never turned off.

_"I'm worth a million of you, you little pig!" screamed The Director, who was inching closer to Sunshine Volt, her gun pointed between the girl's eyes. Sunshine Volt willed herself to be brave and roared in reply, "This is all your fault! Do you have any idea how much suffering you have caused every single one of us? Even if you shot me dead right here, right now, every single killjoy in the zones will come here and wrap their hands around your vile throat themselves! You'll never stand a chance against thousands of us, no matter how many of your personnel you call down!" Sunshine Volt gripped her gun tighter and strained her hands to stop from shaking. _

_But The Director merely laughed. She dropped her gun on the ground. Was she insane? Jenny's eyes widened when the woman ran toward her and grabbed her arm, flinging her across the room. Sunshine Volt landed face-first on the hard concrete floor and moaned softly in pain. Before she could choke out a witty response, The Director grabbed her by her hair and yelled in her ear, "You think you can defeat me, little girl? Do you think I care about your suffering? I'm ashamed of your parents for raising such a selfish bitch." She then laughed and kicked at Sunshine Volt's legs, causing her to fall onto the ground once more._

_"What the hell did you say about my parents?" Sunshine Volt demanded. The Director jutted her hip to her right and folded her arms, smirking. "Oh, my. Of course, you wouldn't know. I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you. Your parents were some of the best S/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w/s Better Living Industries has ever had. Its a shame they started as revolting killjoys like you and your friends." She grabbed Sunshine Volt's gun and attached it to one of the multiple holsters on her waist. "Back when you and your sister were babies, we approached your parents and gave them an offer. 'Join us or you and your entire family will be killed.' They chose the more reasonable option, so we wiped their brains of everything unpure and trained them to be who they were for the past few years. That was until you ran away. Somehow, the medication lost all effect on them and their memories of their killjoy days returned. Your mother tried to kill Korse, our best Exterminator, and when she was found dead on the ground we killed your father to just to make sure he didn't follow in her footsteps." The Director pulled Sunshine Volt back off the ground and gripped her shoulders painfully.   
_

_"Oh, I won't kill you, Jenny. That would be far too easy. When I'm done with you, I want you to scurry on back to the cows you call friends and tell them just how strong I am!" The Director's voice rose into a screech as she slammed her fist into Jenny's face. Jenny fell onto the ground for the third time, which was followed by The Director kicking her relentlessly in the side. Pain shot up Jenny's back like a knife slicing her open. She howled in pain, silently begging for someone to come save her. She tried to kick at the woman who was ruthlessly beating her, but it did nothing. The Directors blows just seemed to be getting stronger as she attempted to fight back. Jenny felt something warm and wet around her mouth, and she looked down to the floor to see there was a trail of blood dripping from her lips. The Director only stopped after she realized if she beat her anymore, the girl would surely die, so she took a step back and heavily exhaled. Jenny's vision was blurry and distorted as she looked up and saw that the woman wasn't smiling anymore, but had a depressed look to her face. "Scram, brat." Was all she said as a group of BL/ind personnel threw her into a corporate van and dropped her on the hard desert ground when they had arrived back into the zones. _

She had been laying on the ground for hours, too weak to stand, when Joshua, Maddison, and Alex had arrived in the car. They had brought her to some abandoned warehouse where a group of old Killjoys had worked hard to heal her. When she finally arrived back at their house in the zones, Jenny had barely gotten out of bed. Her emotional scars were overwhelming. They were like parasites in her brain that ate at every other wonderful memory she had in her life (though there were very few of them) and only left behind the ones that made her suffer. It was in those days she stared at the clock on her nightstand and begged the stars for the gift to turn it back.


	2. The Way We Make It

In the days that followed the death of the Fabulous Four, BL/ind seemed more on edge than ever about the killjoy threat. The Dracs and S/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w/s were plaguing the zones like flies in the summertime, setting traps and shooting up homes. Maddison was climbing into the front seat of the car and had just turned the key when the car burst into flames. It was a miracle she hadn't died from the blast, but her leg was just hanging on by a few tendons and the young woman was coated in her blood. They didn't have any way to make it to the doctor before she bled out, and they had to perform a messy amputation on their hardwood floors. Maddison was overwhelmed with grief and anger, mostly at Jenny.

"You did this to me!" She had shouted at Jenny, her words all choked up as Alex and Joshua tried to saw off her leg without killing her in the process. "If you hadn't tried to be such a lion, we wouldn't be in this mess!" Her eyes were bloodshot from the tears and stress and unimaginable pain she was suffering. Jenny believed she was right. If she had never gone into Battery City to face The Director, none of this would have happened. The body bags they regularly found on the ground seemed to multiply as the days went on and the massacres continued. Maddison's leg had healed poorly and had become terribly infected, and the four of them had to travel with her back to the warehouse where Jenny had been nursed back to health. 

After a few weeks, Jenny had expected Maddison to no longer resent her. But she still shrugged off all of her attempts at conversation. Then the fights began. Maddison still blamed Jenny for what happened. She was always lamenting about how she was sad her leg was gone and was temperamental about everything and everyone. Jenny couldn't take it anymore.

On a late-night, Jenny scribbled a note of thanks to her friend Joshua and left it on his nightstand. She hopped on his motorcycle and drove away into the starry sky. 

Eventually, she reached the inner zones back near the cities. There weren't many people here since the inner zones were more heavily scouted by BL/ind than anywhere else. Jenny had stolen Maddison's gun (again) that was much more effective than the pathetic bat they had given her so long ago. It was her fifteenth birthday today, and she felt invincible as she tore across the abandoned road. Eventually, she reached a small little hut in the middle of Zone 2. She held the gun close and stepped quietly inside. It was very dusty inside. There was a ripped-up couch positioned against the wall with a small wooden coffee table in front of it. There were empty water bottles thrown carelessly onto the floor. Jenny picked up a can that said "Power Pup" on it. She had heard some killjoys had to eat this disgusting crap since it was the only food found in abundance out in the zones. But she, Maddison, Alex, and Joshua had lived in the outer zones where markets were popular, so they always had actual human food to eat, even though the supply was small. The smell of Power Pup alone made her gag. She carefully set the can back down where she had found it.   
  
Suddenly, she heard a voice coming from below her. She couldn't make out the words being said, but it sounded like a woman yelling at someone. She tip-toed over near a staircase that led to a basement floor and through the opening saw an older woman arguing with a teenage boy about something. "What have I told you about sneaking out without me! You could have gotten yourself killed!" The woman continued ranting and raving to the boy until she ran out of breath. She sighed heavily then turned to the stairs and staring walking up. Jenny tried to find somewhere to hide, but it was too late and the woman saw her. Jenny nearly yelped from fear. The woman eyed her suspiciously as the boy followed her upstairs. "Who the hell are you?" The woman asked. 

"Uh...I'm Sunshine Volt. I just came here from Zone 4..." Her voice trailed off and she giggled nervously. The woman's hostile demeanor fell from her and she wrapped her arms around Jenny in a tight hug. Jenny, not knowing what she was doing at first, nearly kicked the woman in between the legs until she realized what was happening. "I think you were one of her patients." The boy stated. "You're the girl that fought The Director, right?" Jenny nodded. "Yeah," she began, "but I failed. She nearly killed me." The woman pulled herself away from her and wagged her finger. "Oh, dear, don't say it as you failed. Even though you couldn't defeat her, you were incredibly brave to try." She turned to the boy, who had seemed to lose his attention because she said something about him not being attentive enough in the desert. "Without me," she groaned, "he would have been killed by Dracs years ago." The boy laughed this off and pulled out his gun and pointed it to the wall. He pulled the trigger and a bullet was lodged into the plaster. "Not attentive enough, huh? Bet if I went up against that director bitch I would have at least done some damage to her." The woman shot him a look of warning and he returned the gun to his holster.

"Anyway, you're quite the talk of the zones, Sunshine. Everyone knows about what you did." He sauntered past her and stopped near the doorway. "I'm gonna head by Nic's place for a bit. I'll be back by eleven." The woman rolled her eyes as he hopped on the motorcycle outside and sped off. "My son doesn't understand that it's a dangerous world out there." The woman laughed. "Sunshine, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Bullet Burst, and his name is Emerald Ammo." She said. "Why did you come here? I thought you lived with your friends." A look of concern spread over her face. Jenny sighed. "I made a mistake and now I'm paying for it."

Bullet chuckled comfortingly. "One of us dies, and we learn to survive from their errors. Mistakes are the only way we can make it in this life." She waved her hand towards the ratty-looking couch set beside them. "Sit down. You can stay with us for a little while, and you can think about how to fix your problem, whatever it is." She walked towards the basement door and went down the stairs. Jenny sank into the couch. She wanted to curl up on the floor and cry, but she would never let herself be seen like that again. There was no way she could fix her problem. That relied entirely on Maddison's part. And there was no way in hell that headstrong young woman would let herself be seen apologizing. 


	3. Blank Sky

Jenny woke up around eleven that night. Her body was sprawled out across the couch, and she was covered in sweat. It was insane that the temperature didn't seem to go down, even in the middle of February. It was unbearably hot in the room and she could not sleep soundly because of it. As her vision adjusted to the darkness, she shook her head and sighed, her head in her hands. She tossed the blanket off of her, pulled on her boots and stepped outside. 

The stars and the moon were hidden by the clouds, and the nighttime breeze played with her hair and cooled her down. Jenny stared up at the blank black sky and imagined that she was back home in Battery City, surrounded by her sister and her parents and feeling happiness. She hoped that when BL/ind was finally overthrown she could return. She didn't even know if her family was still there. BL/ind was always scoping around for traitors; maybe they were sick of having former killjoys working for them and shot her parents. She heard footsteps approaching her from behind. She whipped around and saw Emerald coming through the doorway. "It's nearly midnight. What are you doing out this late?" He asked her. She hesitated for a moment before replying. "Just thinking...'bout stuff." Emerald continued walking until he was nearly shoulder-to-shoulder with her. "Life sucks, you know?" He chuckled. "At this point, we're all losing our reason to be out here. The Fabulous Four are gone. They were our only hope. I doubt anyone as strong will take their place." Jenny nodded in agreement. "These last couple of months with you and Bullet have been fun," she began, her eyes turning over to Joshua's motorcycle, which was parked next to Emeralds, "but I think I should go on my own now. I can't just leech off of you two forever." 

Emerald rolled his eyes. "Don't worry about that, Sunshine. My mom is a nurse, remember? Helping people is her job. If anything, she adores having you here." The sound of gunshots and screams roared faintly in the distance. Jenny and Emerald smiled. "Hear that?" He said, "that's the sound that lets us know we aren't alone. People are still fighting out there. The Fabulous Four may be dead, but the hope is still here. It'll never die. So you can't leave now. When people come out here, they accept the fact that death will always be hanging over their heads. And they don't seem to care. All they care about is fighting and winning. That was me, and I'm almost certain that was you, too." Jenny stood in front of him and looked him in the eyes. "We're stronger together." She said, her face growing a determined expression combined with a grin. "Damn right, we are." Emerald agreed. Jenny could feel his hands reaching for her own, but he dropped them back to his sides and walked slowly back inside. Jenny had followed him into the house, but by the time she entered, he had already gone downstairs. She laid down on the couch and stared up at the ceiling until sleep took her at last.

The next morning she awoke to Bullet and Emerald arguing as always. Bullet always closed the door before confronting her son, so Jenny could never make words out of the muffled voices coming from the basement. She sat at the table and forced down a can of Power Pup, trying her hardest to ignore the rancid taste. The basement door slammed and Emerald hurried up the stairs. "Guess what, Sunshine!" He exclaimed. He sat down next to her at the table, beaming. "My friend Nicotine Dream and her friends are heading out into Battery City! She said we can come-" His speech was cut short by Bullet storming into the room and yelling in his face. "Hell no! There is no way I am letting you go out INTO THE CITY and getting yourself killed!"

Emerald shuffled away from her. "Jesus Christ, mom! It's not like we're going there alone! There's gonna be, like, thirty people coming with us!" Bullet didn't see this as a valid reason why she should let him go. "That's even worse! That many killjoys in one area are sure to attract Dracs! Are you insane?" She threw open a drawer that contained a hammer in it, tossed the front door open, and raised the hammer above Emerald's motorcycle. "Mom, no!" He gasped. "Not my bike!" Jenny giggled at the situation. Bullet didn't bring the hammer down on the motorcycle; she put in back in the drawer and poked Emerald's chest. "You pull this shit with me again, I bust that thing to pieces." Emerald was shaking with fear and rage as his mother climbed onto her motorcycle. "I'll be gone for the day. You better have not gone anywhere when I come back." She started the engine and drove away. Emerald groaned. "Goddammit. I was really hoping to go..." He then perked up, a devious smile on his face. "Well, Nicotine Dream is going into the city around ten. It's only six-thirty. My mom won't be back until around three in the afternoon. We can still go; we just can't be gone for too long." Jenny chuckled. "When did I say I was coming with you?" Emerald scratched his face nervously. "Uh, well, I was kind of hoping you would come. You know, you can tell my mom if I got ghosted or not." Jenny smirked. "Yeah, sure. I'll come." Emerald nodded. "Cool. We should go now. It'll take us a couple of hours to get there."

She followed him outdoors and sat on the back of his motorcycle. They had been driving for about two hours when they arrived at an abandoned gas station in Zone 6. Jenny felt lightheaded from the hot, humid air, and chugged down three water bottles from the stash Emerald had packed for them. A young female killjoy ran out from the doors, waving a gun in her hands. "Yo, Emerald! Get in here! You won't believe what Nicotine found!" The girl ran back inside and Emerald and Jenny followed her.

These group of killjoys lived in a gas station convenience store. There were four of them sitting on the floor in the corner, laughing loudly. "Sorry about the disorder. Everyone's pretty excited. Nicotine should be over there. But first I have something to show you!" The killjoy pointed at the counter, next to a long-since-used commercial coffee machine. There were multiple bags strewn across the floor that Jenny nearly tripped over. And behind the counter was...

"A Pornodroid!" The killjoy girl said proudly as Emerald noticed it sitting lifelessly. "Isn't she a beauty? Unfortunately, her battery is dead, but we expected that. The plus centers are pretty closely guarded, so we've gotta be extremely careful if we wanna get her a fresh one." Jenny peered into the robot's eyes. They were still slightly open, blank and soulless. Its face was partially covered by its rumpled pink hair. Emerald looked at it curiously. Another killjoy arrived in the room from a door leading to a closet. "Emerald! You made it!" She pronounced loudly. "Hey, Nicotine!" He replied. Nicotine began explaining their mission.

"So, there's going to be about thirty of us going, so we have a high survival rate if we get ambushed on the way there. Three people are going to drive in each of six cars, so that'll be eighteen of us. The rest are either sharing or going alone on bikes. As soon as we get into Zone 1, we split up into groups of 5. There'll be a group of killjoys waiting for us on the outskirts of the city with headphones and proper city attire, so we can blend in. When we get inside the city, you gotta make all the riot you can, but don't be too careless. Shoot some bullets into the air, maybe, then just go hysterical and act like your surprised by it." She looked at both of them fiercely. "This is going to be an extremely dangerous mission. Someone is definitely going to die today. Try your best to not be that someone." 

They spent the next couple of hours discussing strategies until it was time to leave. Jenny and Emerald were grouped in one of the cars with two other killjoys named Cyanide Sparkle and Venom Sword. Cyanide was a young man of about twenty, who's mane of wavy red hair hid his face and looked very heat-trapping and uncomfortable. His entire face was sunburnt and he had a habit of scratching it the entire time they were driving. To his side was Venom, who looked about the same age as Cyanide and twice as lanky. He had a very uneven black buzz cut and his arms looked longer than his legs. Both of them were very friendly and kept rambling on about their favorite killjoy stories nonstop for two hours. Jenny nearly fell asleep three times on the way there. The heat was making her feel drowsy and Emerald had to keep shaking her awake.

When they arrived everyone was meeting in the gates. Six Dracs were already dead on the ground shot by Nicotine. She looked over and saw the four of them were there. "Those aren't the first ones either. We got ambushed, like, four times on the way here. Razor Riot got himself shot right in the knee. He had to hang back with his group in Zone 3. I don't have a very good feeling about this at all, guys." She sighed and put hands around her neck. "Whatever. I knew something like this was going to happen. It's too late to turn back now." A group of people walked forward with large duffle bags in their hands. They dropped them to the ground and people ripped into them. Inside they found multiple sets of plain clothing and a few pairs of headphones. They even found a few wigs. "BL/ind would definitely be suspicious of bright hair," Jenny muttered. Her plain natural blond locks, pink tank top, jean shorts, and black boots were normal enough for BL/ind standards, compared to Emerald's blank leather studded jacket and leopard-spotted tank, topped with a very worn pair of black denim jeans and platform boots. 

Jenny stared at the city entrance with fear. It had been over a year since she had last been in that hell. The blank area seemed heavily fenced in and there was barbed wire snaking around the top of it. A few killjoys holding wire cutters were hacking away at it. She looked around and saw everyone was anxious. "We'll be fine, alright?" Emerald told her. She nodded absentmindedly. They began hopping the fence. Emerald went first and helped Jenny over it. She felt small as the city buildings towered over her. She tried to shut out her dread with confidence, but it was hopeless. She was certain she was going to die, yet she walked with them regardless. 


	4. Mind-Numbing

Jenny felt nauseous. She, Emerald, and three other of their own were moving swiftly through the city and the crowds of citizens. She tried covering her face with her hair, though she knew they would not recognize her since she was never seen in the Zones without her mask on. "Don't be scared, Sunshine. Remember that we are here." Emerald tried to reassure her. It did not help. She felt increasingly afraid as they neared the inner city. The crowds seemed to grow thicker, and the number of guards kept multiplying. They stared at her suspiciously; they could sense her fear. But they didn't come for her. They didn't want to make a scene in front of everyone. 

At last, they made it to the Plus center. In the distance could be seen Nicotine Dream and her team entering the building. Everyone else was ordered to walk around the area to avoid drawing attention by loitering, maybe even strike up a conversation. Anything to distract the guards. The five of them shuffled into the elevator to the seventh floor of the building. That's where they could get the battery. 

Once they were up there, Nicotine would equip her gun with a silencer and shoot the camera and the android working at the desk. She would sneak behind the desk and break into the storeroom where the batteries would be kept. Then, with the battery in tow, they would head back to Zone 6, where the Pornodroid would be waiting. They could then question it for any information it had about BL/ind. 

Jenny's breathing became heavy. Just a few blocks away was BL/ind headquarters, where she had once stared death in the face and survived by the skin of her teeth. It had been over an hour since Nicotine and her gang had gone into the building. They should have returned by now. As if answering her prayers, they finally emerged from the doors, Nicotine and another one of them lugging a duffel bag that contained the battery. "There were a lot more people in there than we thought, but it wasn't a problem. They barely even noticed us." She said, tossing her light blond hair which had stuck on her face. Jenny smiled and they weaved their way through the city. 

A little while later their group arrived back into the Zones, where their vehicles were waiting. Cyanide and Venom appeared from the back of the crowd. "Dammit, I blew all of my ammo in there." Venom groaned. He turned to Cyanide. "You got any left, bro?" Cyanide rolled his eyes. "What the hell did Nicotine say? 'Don't get carried away', and what did you do? You got a bunch of Dracs on our tail and ended up getting someone killed. God, I don't even wanna look at you right now. Get the hell away from me." He shoved Venom in the chest and walked away. "What the hell happened?" Emerald asked Venom. The man shook his head and ran his hand over his face. "A couple of Dracs noticed us and were shooting at us. We had gotten split up from you and Sunshine and there was another killjoy that had joined Cyanide and I. We don't even remember her name. She looked about thirteen. She got shot right in the neck. We couldn't risk going back for her." He looked down at the ground with shame. "Nicotine knows. She'll probably kick me out once we get home." He walked away to their car and hopped in the driver's seat. Cyanide was sitting behind him, staring out the window, his gun still in his hand. 

Jenny sat in the front with Venom. She wished the two brothers would have one of their mind-numbingly boring conversations right now; it was much better than angry silence. Emerald kept tapping the back of her seat anxiously, which annoyed the crap out of her, but she was too tired to complain about it. She was starting to not care anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this less-than-stellar chapter. I haven't updated this story in a while cause it's holiday time and I haven't had much time to do much of writing lately.


End file.
